February

Ahhh.. February is coming to an end.. A lot of things happened this month.. There was Thaipusam, Chinese New Year... Valentine's Day and yes, my father's 4th anniversary. I really can't believe it have been 4 years since he left us to be with God. I really miss my daddy. It's not hard to see that I'm daddy's girl. I miss you soooooo much daddy!! Hope you are happy where ever you are.. May God bless your soul.

Death.. It never fails to pay each one of us a visit.. It comes in many forms. Be it our own death or those of our loved ones. Of course there's nothing much we could say about it when it's our own, we're dead after all. Dead people can't form opinions. Or maybe they they could but we just can't hear them. Ahahahaha.

Last month I lost my lovely dog Maia... I was dealt a double blow this month when I lost yet another dog. I lost my puppy Xena.. Yes, Xena the daughter of Maia.. Fate could be cruel but I have to be strong. My only consolation is that at least now Maia won't be alone.

Okay, let's move on. The topic of death is depressing and I do not wish to dwell on it for longer than I should. It's the 28th today. Chap Goh Mei! Yes.. the 15th day of the Chinese New Year.. the end of the celebrations. Isn't Malaysia wonderful? It's one celebration after another... Woohoo!

One celebration that was pretty different for me this year was Valentine's Day. I just realized that it's the 1st Valentine I've had in a really long time where I'm single.. Yup.. Single! Alone! I'm not too bothered by it though. I've been pretty blessed to have had somebody to share my Valentines with all these years (and just because I have somebody to share it with doesn't necessarily made it good).

On that note, I think I rather like being single. I have forgotten the freedom and independence that comes from being single. It's pretty liberating. I'm absolutely loving it! My life is starting to fall into place. I'm doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it. Its like a breath of fresh air!

February have been a pretty interesting month for me. Made plenty of new friends from around the world. Caught up with old friends. Pretty amazing experience. I hope that all the coming months promises to be as interesting and as fruitful as it have been. I pray God will bless me and all my undertakings..

Life Goes On

Wow, just the other day I was whining about how fast time flies and that it was already 2010 without me realizing it. Now it's already February! Seriously, is just just me getting old or does time really fly?

I honestly couldn't for the life of me figure out where did time go.. Maybe mourning my dog Maia's passing haven't been much help... I was quite surprised (AGAIN!) to realize that today is already Febuary 1st! My spirits have been extremely low after the tragedy of Maia's death. She really was my very best friend. It was really hard adjusting to life without her. Everyday when I wake up I always half expect her passing to just be a dream and that she would be sleeping right there in her usual spot right under my butt... but the reality is far more cruel, every morning I reach out.. And Maia is not there. In fact, she would never be there. What a way to start my day. It's really heart breaking and I KNOW I should stop torturing myself but I just can't help it. She have been with me for two and a half years.. Old habits die hard.. I know I would still reach out under my butt for her everyday until God knows when...

These days coming home have been really sad too.. With Maia, every time I enter the door, she would be there waiting, jumping up and down joyfully with a goofy grin on her face and tail wagging crazily. She makes me feel like I'm the most important thing in the world. Something which no other human have ever made me feel.. *sigh* Oh Maia.. Mommy miss you sooo much. I hope you're happy up there in your doggie heaven. Go play in all the grass you want and sniff some flowers for me. I love you girl..

Yes, I know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm such a big freak. That I'm obsessed with my dog. Well the plain truth is, I AM obsessed with my dog.. but how is that a problem? I never hurt anyone with my obsession. Besides, what is so wrong with loving your pet? If more people love their pet then there wouldn't even be an SPCA. No dogs would be abandoned, neglected or even abused! There wouldn't even be any stray dogs because pet owners would be responsible enough to either spay and neuter their pets or if they do allow their pets to breed then would be responsible enough to keep and take care of the puppies or give them away to good loving homes. So in other words, those irresponsible pet owners, they're the real freaks!

Well, it have been nine days since my Maia died. I'm still in mourning but ultimately I do know that life goes on and that I need to snap out of my sadness. I need to go on with my life. My life have been really messy and I'm very sure my darling Maia wouldn't want me to be sad and upset. She have spent most of her short life licking my tears dry and I bet she wouldn't want to be the cause of more tears and pain. I need to stay strong and start looking for happiness. Memory of Maia would forever live in my heart and also through her two beautiful daughters Xena and Zorra. They have taken over their mother's legacy. They have been with me all through my mourning period, licking my tears dry and making me laugh. In fact, sweet Zorra have now claimed her mother's sleeping spot right under my butt... She may not be Maia but... oh who cares!

The moral of the story is, please cherish what you have because it could be gone in a second. Live, love and be happy. If someday you do end up losing the ones you love, it's okay. At least you have loved to the fullest. No regrets.

R.I.P. my dear Maia.

 

I lost my very best friend today. My dog Maia passed away leaving a gashing hole in my heart. She was my very best friend. She was obedient, loyal, and most of all, she loved me unconditionally. She didn't care if I was fat or thin. Pretty or ugly. Rich or poor. She loved me just the way I am.

I miss her happy face and her soulful eyes. I miss her sitting at my feet while I'm on the computer. I miss her rushing to greet me every time I come home. I miss her sleeping curled on my laps while I watch TV. I miss her sleeping on that exact spot just below my butt every night. Oh.. I miss my Maia so much!

My Maia have helped me through so many of life's obstacles. Just playing with her and watching her gave joy to my heart and lifts my spirits up. When I'm sad and crying she would come lick my tears away.. And now, she is gone. My very best friend in the world is gone.

She was more loyal and true and faithful than most friends and definitely more so that any boyfriends I've ever had. If she was a human male, I would marry her! Yes, that is how much I love my Maia. She might just be a dog to others but to me, she was my very best friend.

Please God take my Maia and bless her and take good care of her. I'm putting her in your care now so please I beg you, take good care of her. I promise she would provide you with as much joy and happiness as she had for me. I love you Maia and you'll always and forever be in my heart. Rest in peace.. *hugs and kisses*

Its 2010 Already?!?

Hey people... How fast time flies.. Can you imagine, it's already 2010!! Where did time go?? It shocked me today to realize that its already the MIDDLE of January. Was I sleeping to not realize that time is zooming past me? Well, that just goes to show that I need to wake up and smell the coffee. Time and tide waits for no one after all. Very cliche no doubt but it sure holds true.

I'm still baffled about what transpired between Christmas and now... Time just zoomed past me and I didn't even realize it. One minute I was celebrating Christmas and the next I'm waking up baffled wondering where time went. Maybe the fact that my New Year's celebration was pretty lukewarm didn't allow it to register in my mind that it's already a brand new year. Guess I've been too spoiled in the past celebrating New Year with a big bang. Oh well, "cest la vie", says the French. That's life.

Well, I'm glad 2009 is over. It have NOT been a good year for me. Right now I'm embracing 2010 with my arms wide open. Time for a change. 2009 was pretty much a wasted year. I wasted myself, my time, my emotions, my resources, my everything! Yes I know I shouldn't have any regrets and should take responsibility for my own actions and trust me I do but I just can't help feeling disappointed. I've invested so much of myself and it all came down to absolutely nothing.

It's time to move on! I have this niggling feeling that 2010 would be a wonderful year for me. It's the year of the Chubs! Wooohooo! So people, wish me luck and pray that I find success. This year it's all about me.. And yes my dear friends.... its all about you too.. Ahahahhaa... I'm dedicating this year to improving myself, healing and appreciating what God gave me... Yes, God gave me my life, my friends and most important, God gave me my family.

So, happy 2010 everybody and with the new year, I'm wishing everyone new hopes, new dreams and new happiness. Cheers!

It's Christmas!

Ahhh... It's that time of the year again. Christmas time have always been one of my favorite holidays. No, it's not just because of all the food and presents (although it IS a bonus! ahahaha) but its just the spirit of the season. In fact,I hardly EVER get any Christmas presents but to me, having my health and having my family and loved ones around me beats any present anyone could ever give. Ok, I'm lying. Ahaahahaha... Its nice to have ALL that AND presents too... Let's be honest here.. Christmas feels so much better when you get presents!

Well, I'll be celebrating my Christmas in Miri this year and it would be something new for me. I've never really celebrated Christmas before. Not on a large scale where I have friends coming over for a Christmas visit and all. It have always been a small family affair and since Christmas coincides with my mom's birthday, it have always been all about her. And ever since my dad passed away three years ago, we're never really celebrated anything. Not even birthdays. I guess it just gets too sad for me and my mom.

I am feeling a little guilty for leaving my mom back home to come to Miri. I'm sure she would get pretty lonely.. I just needed a change of scenery. I HAD to get out to preserve my sanity. 2009 have been a pretty crazy year for me. Too many things have happened and it all affected me deeply. I need a change. I need some breathing room and since my financial situation didn't allow me to embark upon some grand travel plan, Miri was the obvious option. It's far enough and I have relatives to crash with. Whatever works right?

What are YOUR plans for Christmas? Mine's pretty simple. My cousins holds an open house every year for their friends and relatives and well wishers.. so I guess I'll be doing what THEY're doing. We've been preparing for it since last week. Everyday involves cookie making and cake baking. I'm trying my level best to avoid the house cleaning because I absolutely HATE to clean.. the cooking and baking I don't mind.. Afterall, who's going to lick the whisks? Ahahahahaha.

It's safe to say that preparations are coming along just fine and it would be Christmas really really soon. I'm taking this to wish all of you a happy happy Christmas that's filled with joy and love and all things good. May you get all that you wish for and don't forget, it's the season to give.. So go right ahead and give your loved ones a whole lot of loving... It's the season to love afterall.. Merry Christmas!

MAS Wings Sux!

I recently flew to Miri and was unfortunate enough to book myself on a MAS Wings Fokker aircraft. I personally have no problems with the aircraft per se, but it does get rather uncomfortable for a big girl like myself.

To begin with, I almost missed my flight because the damn 'Mr. X' told me he was coming to my house to return my stuff (as you can see, I'm still working really hard to get my stuff back). Surprise surprise! Mr. X never showed up. When I called him up, he said he would meet me at the airport.. I feel so dumb believing him! Because, yup, you guessed it! He NEVER showed! Aaaarrggghhhh!!! He had the balls to keep telling me to give him a few more minutes and that he's already close to the airport... He said that EVERYTIME I called him up to asked him if he was coming. I mean, if he wasn't going to show up at all then WHY WHY WHY play me like a fool like that?

Anyways, because I kept waiting for the damn Mr.X like the dumbass that I was, they had to announce my name asking for my immediate boarding. It was pretty embarrassing! To make things worse, I really needed to go to the toilet so I just went. I would not be able to make it till after take off if I didn't go right away! Once I was done, I had to practically run like a mad woman to board my flight and the fact that they were repeatedly announcing my name over the PA system was making me cringe in embarrassment!

Since the damn plane was a Fokker, boarding takes place OUTSIDE the airport terminal on the airfield itself. As I was running towards the plane, I could see the looks on the pilots' and air hostesses' face. It was a mixture of annoyance and I don't know.. call me paranoid but I think they were sharing a private laugh at my expense. I guess the sight of a chubby girl running all out of breath towards a plane struck them as funny. Well whatever! I was a paying passenger and I deserve equal respect as anybody else.

Well, why I hate the Fokker? It's because it's not exactly chubby friendly! The isles are narrow, seats are slightly smaller than a wider bodied aircraft and horror of horrors! The seat belt does not fit! Yes my dear friends.. I COULD NOT buckle my seat belt. Of course, being a seasoned traveller I didn't let this bother me even if I was dying of humiliation inside because some fellow passengers were already looking at me and im sure were already passing nasty judgements. I just calmly stopped a passing air hostess and asked her nicely for an extension. She graciously told me not to worry and gave one to me right? WRONG! Well.. she did eventually give it to me but not before sighing like I'm asking her to climb Mount Everest. Oh, that and frowning like I just asked her to strip for me. Hell lady! It's your JOB! Get on with the program already!

I really don't understand. Was it prejudice I experienced? Was it because I was fat? Or was it just because these airline workers are just mean people? I mean, isn't it their job to take care of passengers? Yes I was late but does that give them the right to be rude? I think it's much much much easier to smile than to frown. It takes more effort to frown so why bother?

I understand the job of a cabin crew could get really exhausting but try and be professional. All that needs to be done is just BE NICE. Throw away whatever prejudice you have inside of you. We're all equals here. *sigh*

I Love Having Fun: Rainforest World Music Festival

 

I guess this could be considered the 3rd leg of the adventure my cousin Joanna and I embarked upon.. It all started from The Perhentians then the Full Moon Party in Thailand and this is a finale of sorts of our so called great adventure!

The Rainforest World Music Festival is an annual 3-day music festival held in my home town of Kuching, Sarawak. The festival (we call it RainFest) features daytime music workshops, cultural displays, food stalls and of course the main stage evening concerts! RainFest features performers from all over the world playing from traditional music, to world fusion and contemporary world music. It's not your average rock concert for sure!

Set in the grounds of the Sarawak Cultural Village against the backdrop of Mount Santubong, the location couldn't be more perfect. Afterall, what is RainFest without the rainforest right?  Being one of the largest music festival in Malaysia, RainFest attracts audience from around the world (eye candy galore!!). I don't know the exact number of people who attended the event and I'm too lazy to Google it up (oh no, my true colors are starting to shine through! Ahahah), but by my estimation there could easily be about 30,000 people there. It was awesome!

Everyone comes with only one goal in mind, to have fun fun fun! I know I certainly did. I made new friends, danced, ate, drank and be merry! I'm telling you about my 2008 RainFest escapade instead of the more recent 2009 one because I didn't have too good a time this year. Maybe the performers wasn't too interesting or it could just be the company I had that didn't live up to my expectation. I think it was the company. Ahahahahaha. The company you keep is fundamental to the kind of fun you have and I was lucky to have and to have made wonderful acquaintances. People who knows how to enjoy life and live it to the fullest... Just like me! Okay okay.. I'm blowing my won horn a little.. but hey, if I don't blow my own horn, who's going to do it for me? Right? Hehehehehe.

Anyways, RainFest 2008 was a blast! And for the 1st time it actually RAINED but that didn't stop anyone from enjoying themselves. In fact, playing in the rain and mud added to the fun. Seriously! It kind of make me feel like a happy pig rolling around in the mud. Okay I didn't exactly ROLLED around in the mud but heck I DID get all muddy... It was all good fun!

All in all, RainFest was a blast. I enjoyed it immensely and even if I attended the event every year it is still exciting. The people, the music, the spirit, I really can't explain the feeling. You have to experience it for yourself. So yes, RainFest 2010, here we come!!!