February

Ahhh.. February is coming to an end.. A lot of things happened this month.. There was Thaipusam, Chinese New Year... Valentine's Day and yes, my father's 4th anniversary. I really can't believe it have been 4 years since he left us to be with God. I really miss my daddy. It's not hard to see that I'm daddy's girl. I miss you soooooo much daddy!! Hope you are happy where ever you are.. May God bless your soul.

Death.. It never fails to pay each one of us a visit.. It comes in many forms. Be it our own death or those of our loved ones. Of course there's nothing much we could say about it when it's our own, we're dead after all. Dead people can't form opinions. Or maybe they they could but we just can't hear them. Ahahahaha.

Last month I lost my lovely dog Maia... I was dealt a double blow this month when I lost yet another dog. I lost my puppy Xena.. Yes, Xena the daughter of Maia.. Fate could be cruel but I have to be strong. My only consolation is that at least now Maia won't be alone.

Okay, let's move on. The topic of death is depressing and I do not wish to dwell on it for longer than I should. It's the 28th today. Chap Goh Mei! Yes.. the 15th day of the Chinese New Year.. the end of the celebrations. Isn't Malaysia wonderful? It's one celebration after another... Woohoo!

One celebration that was pretty different for me this year was Valentine's Day. I just realized that it's the 1st Valentine I've had in a really long time where I'm single.. Yup.. Single! Alone! I'm not too bothered by it though. I've been pretty blessed to have had somebody to share my Valentines with all these years (and just because I have somebody to share it with doesn't necessarily made it good).

On that note, I think I rather like being single. I have forgotten the freedom and independence that comes from being single. It's pretty liberating. I'm absolutely loving it! My life is starting to fall into place. I'm doing what I want to do whenever I want to do it. Its like a breath of fresh air!

February have been a pretty interesting month for me. Made plenty of new friends from around the world. Caught up with old friends. Pretty amazing experience. I hope that all the coming months promises to be as interesting and as fruitful as it have been. I pray God will bless me and all my undertakings..

Life Goes On

Wow, just the other day I was whining about how fast time flies and that it was already 2010 without me realizing it. Now it's already February! Seriously, is just just me getting old or does time really fly?

I honestly couldn't for the life of me figure out where did time go.. Maybe mourning my dog Maia's passing haven't been much help... I was quite surprised (AGAIN!) to realize that today is already Febuary 1st! My spirits have been extremely low after the tragedy of Maia's death. She really was my very best friend. It was really hard adjusting to life without her. Everyday when I wake up I always half expect her passing to just be a dream and that she would be sleeping right there in her usual spot right under my butt... but the reality is far more cruel, every morning I reach out.. And Maia is not there. In fact, she would never be there. What a way to start my day. It's really heart breaking and I KNOW I should stop torturing myself but I just can't help it. She have been with me for two and a half years.. Old habits die hard.. I know I would still reach out under my butt for her everyday until God knows when...

These days coming home have been really sad too.. With Maia, every time I enter the door, she would be there waiting, jumping up and down joyfully with a goofy grin on her face and tail wagging crazily. She makes me feel like I'm the most important thing in the world. Something which no other human have ever made me feel.. *sigh* Oh Maia.. Mommy miss you sooo much. I hope you're happy up there in your doggie heaven. Go play in all the grass you want and sniff some flowers for me. I love you girl..

Yes, I know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm such a big freak. That I'm obsessed with my dog. Well the plain truth is, I AM obsessed with my dog.. but how is that a problem? I never hurt anyone with my obsession. Besides, what is so wrong with loving your pet? If more people love their pet then there wouldn't even be an SPCA. No dogs would be abandoned, neglected or even abused! There wouldn't even be any stray dogs because pet owners would be responsible enough to either spay and neuter their pets or if they do allow their pets to breed then would be responsible enough to keep and take care of the puppies or give them away to good loving homes. So in other words, those irresponsible pet owners, they're the real freaks!

Well, it have been nine days since my Maia died. I'm still in mourning but ultimately I do know that life goes on and that I need to snap out of my sadness. I need to go on with my life. My life have been really messy and I'm very sure my darling Maia wouldn't want me to be sad and upset. She have spent most of her short life licking my tears dry and I bet she wouldn't want to be the cause of more tears and pain. I need to stay strong and start looking for happiness. Memory of Maia would forever live in my heart and also through her two beautiful daughters Xena and Zorra. They have taken over their mother's legacy. They have been with me all through my mourning period, licking my tears dry and making me laugh. In fact, sweet Zorra have now claimed her mother's sleeping spot right under my butt... She may not be Maia but... oh who cares!

The moral of the story is, please cherish what you have because it could be gone in a second. Live, love and be happy. If someday you do end up losing the ones you love, it's okay. At least you have loved to the fullest. No regrets.